The Case of the Broken Heartburn

“Doll, if I had a nickle for every dame that broke my heart I’d have exactly five cents. I’d like to keep it that way.” Spark replied as he turned back to the filing cabinet.

“But Spark, Baby, I know you love me. You know it will make me happy to hear you say it. Won’t you please just for me?”

“Trix, I do love you but I’d never say so. Ya’ dig?”

Trix opened her mouth to protest but after a moment cracked a grin. “Spark, let me get that file for you. I have a system.”

“Thanks Dove. When your through with that send a message to Mrs Maloney.”

“What shall I say?”

“You can tell her…well…tell her I solved the case. I know who killed her old man and why. Tell her that. It should bring her over here in a hurry.”

“But Spark, you said you were stumped on that case. I’m confused.” Trix sounded concerned.

Spark wasted no time in saying, “That was five minutes ago Trix. A lot has happened since then. All this talk of love jostled my mind a bit and everything came clear. At least, I think it did. Now hand me that file.”

25 MINUTES LATER

Mrs Maloney entered the office of Trent Spark confidently but alertly and proceeded to ooze her Southern charm, “Mr. Spark, I must admit I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon and I’m certainly surprised you’ve solved the case. I’m anxious to learn the facts of who killed my beloved Clarence.”

Spark motioned her to a seat opposite him and on the other side of his desk, “Anxious? I suppose I would be anxious too if I were you.”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.” said Mrs. Maloney with the calmest of demeanors.

Spark paused a moment for effect while staring deep into her eyes, “You’re anxious because you killed him. Understand now, Sugar?”

Rise and shine,
fuss and pine.
Every Pajama
bottomed girl
a beauty.
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

Sticks and stones,
needles and cones.
Walking paths
playing and
feeling carefree.
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

Splashes and balls,
water and falls.
Slides with curves
and rivers that
carry to the sea.
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

Chew and munch,
taste and crunch.
Forked fingers
bring gifts and
laughs happy.
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

Cuddle and smile,
watch and while.
Popping corn
in time
with TV
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

Kisses and hugs
sheets and bedbugs.
Sweet whisper,
“I love you Daddy!”
Ani, Aina, Aleck, and me.

I stay for the curling golden petals and the cool rocks.

Pine needles, now on the ground, browned by the sun
Remind me of a thousand bits and pieces of me strewn amongst the rocks.

Those rocks with cracks and ridges, blues, blacks, and purples

Their coolness beckons me to sit, to climb the stems, to reach for curving ridges

It’s a few square inches and my wilderness expands for hundreds of miles

A few square inches is still with me now

Your love, your dimples, your soft smooth skin…
Your words that ever draw me in.

THE FENCE

Simple shafts of steel
- these squares on end in beating sun
 
rectangular embraces across the field
- end in wire-clipped
start over all the same
 
warm boxes reflect shiny rays
give no thought to posts erect, alone, together
 
four equal sides know not but desire
- naught perceive sentinels
 
standing intertwined not knowing why
- never sensing posts’ reply
 
loving one another still heedless of support
- corner touching corner, over and over
 
uninvited crystal airdrop blanket
- three inches thick
 
still posts’ stand, still others kiss
- now feel weight and struggle slightly to love
 
less than a turn – celestial rotation
no moments thought, though standing still
 
return they now reflecting hour
still, still no viewing posts’ power
 

84 words

Speed test

I can say with all honesty that I care not for presents but I also don’t care for presence. Hmm! What I would like is to be left alone for an entire day once a year. Let me explain lest you think me an introvert.

I love my wife and my children dearly. I absolutely do. They are each of them wonderful and make me smile and laugh every day. Sometimes I even get choked up thinking about how much I love them. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them all.

I also enjoy spending time with myself and I think it is important. It never happens though. I would like a day all to myself just to think. Perhaps I might contemplate my own mortality. Better still, I might take time to reflect on all that I’ve experienced and the man I’ve become. I may set some goals or I may not. I may just do what men do best and think about nothing all day long. You know, stare off at the horizon with an open mouth and drool doing its level best to stave off gravity. Like defragging my brain. I dunno…sounds nice.

I wouldn’t have to have the day on my birthday. It would be better on an inconspicuous day. No phone calls from well wishers. Also, my girls (Andi is included) have birthday plans.

I did do something this year. There is this hill out near my parents house somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I’ve always thought to myself, “You ought to run up that hill.” It’s 2.5 miles uphill all the way. A gradual slope all the way to the top of Yoder Hill. It’s dry and windy and at an elevation of 6,000 ft.

I am in terrible shape right now which is probably why I wanted to run it. Dumb I know. Anyway, I did it. It hurt but I did it. I’d like to say I learned some sort of amazing lesson or something but I didn’t. You can insert one of your own here if you are looking for inspiration. I just felt very pleased to reach the top.

So anyway, a friend of mine turned out to be some sort of super villian. Dang! I hate it when that happens. I don’t remember anything about that story but I am sure it was nice.

I was a bachelor in this dream I had this awesome condo right on the beach. In fact, it had a little lanai and the water was just off the lanai. I was sitting on the lanai playing with my dog. I don’t recall what kind of dog it was.

The sky was gray, the gray that comes just before a powerful rain storm. The wind was blowing. I was just appreciating the beauty in the sky when all of a sudden I see a flaming firball falling through the sky and I knew it was a meteor. It was only about 10 miles away and head straight into the ocean. Thinking back, I probably should have been worried about tidal waves and got out of there – but I didn’t.

 So I watched it go down until it shot behind a cloud which blocked my view of it striking the water. I heard it though. Then I saw debris flying through the air. As it just so happened, 2 pieces of meteor which would now technically be meteorites since they had landed on the Earth, landed on my lanai. One of them bounced off of the wall and onto the dog’s leg. It was hot enough to sear the dog’s leg so he wasn’t too happy about that.

The other piece was quite larger. After it cooled I picked it up and examined it and it looked sort of like a geode inside. Sort of. Except there will several different types of gem inside and they were neatly layered. I spent some time examing it and I just couldn’t get out of my mind that it was “manufactured”. The stone seemed important. Then I woke up.

What does it all mean? I have no clue!

Excited for the future.

I think maybe I accomplished a lot in general. Yes, with the help of an old friend.

Today I spoke with someone who had the power to help me reclaim what I mentioned was lost in my last post. I’m still sorting through the meaning but…

Well, I think I confirmed my theory as to why I lost it and I also received permission to move on. I’m not 100% yet but I think this was good – this was good.

There was no parade today – no man came a marchin’

strolling, bringing one leg around the other up the middle of the road

yellow stripe – black top

he was supposed to beat a drum into town

triumphantly look around, then declare himself back

back with a rim shot or a per-diddle

he didn’t march – he didn’t beat

no yellow black

no snare

just the same thing lying there

not gone but in a grave

just under cellophane

it’s good – really it is

he never use to move and now he boils

like the first few seconds

he never could seem to see through black, stretched plastic,

this new stuff is much better

cognisant, conscious, clearly wrapped in pressing on his face

the band is warming to the idea

no parade today but things couldn’t be better

there’ll be a man a marchin’

he knows what to do….yes

he’s coming back!

We (Andi and I) cleaned out our garage today. It wasn’t a simple cleaning either. We took everything down from the attic and went through every box. We threw out tons of stuff and we are only about halfway done.

In the midst of all the cleaning I found something I knew I had lost but had no clue where to look – myself. I’m not sure how to describe it without sounding like a bunch of pshyco babble nonsense but I will try my best.

There are many things that I like about me and things I don’t. I’m positive that holds true for us all so no revelation there. However, I did previously possess some characteristics that I really would like to have back and I think I found them today packed away in some old boxes. Rather, I think I found the way to get them back.

Though I have many admirable qualities and ones that are effective in a business setting I want the ones I lost back. I didn’t realize how good they were then and now I do. Let me explain. Without even being aware of it, I was in complete comprehension of the law of attraction. I knew how to get what I wanted. Also, I had amazing self discipline. One day I decided not to drink soda any more to see if it would help me run better. It did. I went almost 3 years without it. I went back to soda when I moved to Brazil and discovered that drinking soda was better for my health than water.

While on the subject of Brazil. I became interested in the country in high school. I checked out books from the library and tried to learn what little Portuguese I could. I spent lots of time with the Brazilian exchange students and talked about their culture all the time. 2 years later I was in Brazil. After everything was said and done I spent 3 years there.

I used to run 30-35 miles a week and I loved it. I was such a freak I kept a running journal.

At some point along the path of life I lost the will power and some of the ability to manifest my own destiny. While poking through old pictures, letters, books, poems, and the like, I think I discovered why I lost the ability. I’m not sure if discovering why is enough to fix the problem – it might be because I ”felt” my old self again.

The book Pshyco Cybernetics explains that if the goals you set for yourself don’t compute with your self-image then you will fail in achieving them. In other words, reprogram your self image and you change your ability to attain goals. I discovered today a great betrayal on my part. That is to say, I betrayed myself in the past and I only figured it out today. I wish I didn’t have to be so vague but…what can you do?

Anyway, I’ll be thinking on it a while and I am confident I can make it right. We’ll see.

I found a few stories and poems I wrote in the past in those boxes and I’ll be adding pages for them shortly.